If you could have someone to talk to like a therapist, or a teacher, or a mentor, or a guide, who could help you out of pain and confusion, how would you want that dynamic to occur?
Would you want the person to listen and empathize with your struggles? Or would you want them to challenge your perspective to try and locate a new way of seeing a situation? Do you need someone to listen and witness, or do you need someone to point you towards True North? Sometimes we need witnessing and sometimes we need guidance. Which is the case for you right now? Are you currently in an excavation process, discovering painful realizations about your past? Or have you excavated and now at a loss as to what to do with all the fragments?
And when receiving help, how do you feel about the exchange of money? Does paying a person for their assistance trouble you? Would you value their attention if it were given freely? If they gave it freely, would you value it? If they charged you for it, would you resent them? Do you need a professional helper or do you need a friend?
I used to offer life guidance services for free. Then I offered them for an exchange. People would give me watercolor paintings or ivory boxes. And I would sit with them for two hours. This, of course was not sustainable, nor was it popular. When I offer guidance for free, there was a discomfort in that. I was met first with the attitude of, “You must not really be legit if you don’t charge money for your services.” And when I began to charge, I was then met with, “I can’t afford help.” Or “That is too expensive!” It did not matter what the price was, someone always found it too expensive. This is because money is an indicator of one’s level of interest. If I really want something, I find a way to find the money.
Paying for professional assistance in resolving a problem in your life is only needed when you have made all the effort you can think of and still there has not been any improvement. In such a case, you need to connect with someone else who is holding a more objective space for you to reflect and discover. A helper, whether they are a traditional psychologist, an alternative healer, or a mentor is always someone who maintains an objective, scientific perspective. A helper is someone who asks, “Is that true?”
The real question to ask when you are seeking a way out of pain is: Can anyone really help me yet? Or do I need to first locate your belief that it is possible to find the help you need? Is the challenge I am facing something I can work through with a friend? Or would that be too taxing? If you do not have any friends you feel comfortable going to for help, I would strongly suggest that you are in a place that needs professional guidance. The ability to make and keep valued companionship is one of the first signs of wellness.
When the willingness is there, it will not matter if you pay for guidance or receive it for free. The money will be there if you need it or the person will arrive into your life in such a way as to make money unnecessary. When you decide to allow yourself to be helped by another, you have entered the healing time. You sculpt your own healing process. You build the jungle gym you will use to climb out of your limited perception. That may involve taking someone’s advice and it may involve rejecting that advice to find your own method.
No one has answers for you. Everyone is a mirror in which to find your own answers. If you think it is time for structured life guidance services, I’d be happy to meet and see how I might be able to help in your learning process. I wish you joy in all your life adventures.